Orange County Dating 101: Red Flags to Watch Out For

By Orange County Singles Dating Service
Home / Dating Advice / Orange County Dating 101: Red Flags to Watch Out For

When you first start dating a man and you’re really into him, it’s normal to ignore all the telltale signs that something is wrong.  All the signs are right there, you just refuse to see them.  Soon enough, those relationship red flags become real issues, but you’ve already have spent a few months with this person, and suddenly wish you would’ve listened to your gut feeling earlier on.  To prevent this from happening to you again, our Orange County dating coaches have put together dating 101 guide to help you navigate the OC dating scene.

This helpful guide will allow you and many other single women in Orange County to pick up on relationship red flags to avoid wasting your precious time with the wrong men.

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1. He’s Not Kind to Others

We have heard this many times before.  Women have a great date with a guy only to discover that he is disrespectful to the wait staff at the end.  Ladies, even if your man is kind and courteous to you, if he treats others poorly, then he’s not the guy for you.  This is a major red flag you need to watch out for in the Orange County dating scene, especially in the early stages of your relationship.

Of course, when someone is into you, they’re not going to treat you badly because they’re into you.  But if they treat others badly in front of you, that’s a sign of what’s to come.  Believe us, when they get comfortable, they’re going to do the same with you.

It also means they have anger or ego issues.  It might seem romantic that the man you’re dating only has a soft spot for you—you might even feel all special like a princess—but that’s a telltale sign he’ll soon treat you just like he treats others.

2. You Feel Like You’re in a Rebound Relationship

As professional matchmakers, we know that some people heal faster from breakups than others, but there are telltale signs you need to look out for that will let you know he isn’t ready to date just yet.

You should never date a man that just got out of a relationship.  If he just broke up with someone, then he’s dating too soon.  Typically, a man needs between 3 to 9 months to get over the breakup, depending on the length of the relationship and why it ended.  It is important to heal completely before he starts dating again.

3. There Is A Lot of Jealous

Don’t get us wrong, every relationship has some level of jealousy.  If you are dating a man who is extremely jealous and controlling, then that’s a red flag you’re dating the wrong man.  There is a difference between normal jealousy and possessiveness.

If the man you’re dating is trying to control your life, who you hang out with, what you do, and how you do it, then he is possessive.  His possessiveness will only get worse over time.  This is something you absolutely must look out for and walk away if you see this type of behavior.

4. He Flirts with Other Women

A lot of men in the Orange County dating scene have very social personalities and hang out with a lot of women, perhaps from work or from interest groups and hobbies, which is completely fine.  But there are other men who cross the line.  Sometimes the expression once a cheater always a cheater is not always fitting, but sometimes it is.

If the man you’re dating has a very flirtatious personality or has a history of cheating, then you know what’s to come.  If he was a serial cheater in the past, it is important for you to know.

We’re not saying that he’s going to do the same to you, but if he has already cheated in the past, then he has a history of doing it, which means you need to watch out.

5. Substance Abuse

If he suffers from substance abuse or dependency, you must realize this will only cause problems for you down the road.  If the man you’re dating uses drugs or abuses alcohol, then he has issues he needs to work on himself.

If you have seen him intoxicated more than you have seen him sober, then he has a problem, not just with the relationship but with himself.  This clearly is not healthy and indicates an underlying issue… addiction, depression, or many other things.  It is important for you to address it early because you don’t want to end up with someone who has an addiction.

6. He’s Lazy

We’re not talking about taking an afternoon nap after a hard workout at the gym.  We’re talking about not wanting to get a job, not wanting to leave the house, and not wanting to do anything.

Maybe lazy isn’t the right word to describe it.  Maybe he lacks motivation.  Whether it’s work, getting in shape, or going to school, he should be motivated and have productive days.  This is especially important if you want to start a relationship with him.

If the man you’re dating lacks motivation to do anything in life, this is a red flag you should never ignore.  He should have his own goals and aspirations that he works hard to achieve.  If he has no motivation, no drive, and no passion, he’s not worthy of your time.

7. Your Friends & Family Dislike Him

Friends and family do not have to approve of your relationship, but it does make things easier when they do.  It is important to listen to those who love you because they see things from the outside.  Yes, you might know him better than anyone else, but you’re seeing him through your rose-tinted glasses.

It is important to realize that love is blinding, and you might not see the red flags that are right in front of your eyes.  But guess who will see them?  Your friends and family.  If they have voiced concerns about the man you’re dating, you should really listen to what they’re saying.  They are only looking out for your best interests, so don’t blow them off.

Do you have any other red flags you look for?  Did this Orange County dating guide from our expert matchmakers help you out?  We would love to hear what you have to say, so be sure to share your comments with us.

If you are tired of meeting men who aren’t relationship-worthy, contact our Irvine matchmakers today so we can help you meet relationship-minded men in Orange County.  Fill out the private survey at the top of the page to reserve your FREE 90 minute matchmaking consultation with our Orange County dating and matchmaking experts today!

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